Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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