If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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