i would punch a child for taco bell
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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