thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
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i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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