Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
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