The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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