Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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