dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
