a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize