therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
