sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
so that wasnt chicken after all
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
