found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
last night I used snow as a chaser
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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