i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
