You don't have asthma, your pregnant
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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