Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
