Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize