bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral