dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
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after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants