Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
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Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
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Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.