that's an acceptable place to lick
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
