but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize