dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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