Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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