Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Say something about gay babies.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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