Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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