you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
