So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
