i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
