I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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