I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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