Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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