i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
