Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
