i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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