I could have mohawked her pubes.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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