He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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