The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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