This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
accomplished twins. life is a go
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
She's the barista slut.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
