He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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