What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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