i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
