I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Just high enough for therapy.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
