i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I need to align my fucking chakras
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
