Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
