on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
