hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
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On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
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I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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