My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
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