I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Randomize
