I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
do herpes really smell.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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