Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
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