What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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