Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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