im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
