she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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