I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
