I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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