WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
