Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
