To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
