Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
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Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
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Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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