VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
