Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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