We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
