she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
