oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
