No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
