Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
