do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
